Tag: hope

Heavenly Father is in Charge

Heavenly Father is in Charge

I’m so sorry my friends for my absence and lack of attendance to this blog the past few weeks. I’ve mentioned before that I am a self-employed woman and my business is subject to the vicissitudes of the economic market. My reality is that in light of our global situation, I am losing my business. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. While others are complaining of boredom, I have been working as many hours as I can to eek out a final few projects before it all goes away, most likely for several years. It’s survival right now, but I suspect soon I will have much more time to speak about betrayal trauma. I look forward to communing then. You have all been close in my heart and my prayers. I send heartfelt well wishes.

I did want to pop on and implore any who might read this to hang in there. The emotional grief of betrayal trauma combined with worries for our personal health and that of those we love and possible financial ruin is a great burden indeed. Honor that pain. It is real and should be felt. In my mind, it must come down to the simple fact that Heavenly Father is in charge. Always and forever. Sometimes I forget that truth and want to control and influence in places I shouldn’t. This always sends me into the emotional weeds. In order to remind myself of this conviction, each morning as I stretch after exercising I go into the child’s pose and repeat this mantra in my mind:

Be still.

Be humble.

Heavenly Father is in His heaven.

Let him be.

I KNOW that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. I KNOW that we are going to get through this – the sun will shine again and someday this will be only a bad memory, but hopefully one we will have learned from. I KNOW the only respite we have from fear and uncertainty is to lay our burden at our savior’s feet. He understands everything and has personally experienced all that we do during our mortal journey. I KNOW we are never alone.

You Hang in There

You Hang in There

One of the surprising aspects of being a divorced woman is the amazing people I meet and talk to as I go about the business of changing my life. As I shift names on credit cards and other personal details, I spend a lot of time telling a lot of strangers about what is going on in my life. And here’s the weird thing: most of them have gone through it too. As a whole, I have found these individuals to be infinitely kind, patient, and willing to help.

The other day, I called up the credit card company to get my name changed. When the customer service representative asked me for the reason why and I explained, she said in a lilting Southern cadence, “I know what you are going through, when I went through my divorce, I got down to 82 pounds.”

As we concluded the call she said, “Now, Miss Azalee, you hang in there. Things are going to get better.”

I wished I could record her affirming voice, filling in the names of all the ladies I know who are traversing the living hell of ending a marriage and navigating the unbearable pain of betrayal trauma. So, I’m going to say what that sweet lady said: you hang in there. Things are going to get better. You are going to heal.

I am fascinated by the picture that I have used to head this post. The woman appears to sit on a swing over a chasm. Yet, she doesn’t give off the sense that she is desperate or unsure. She’s got her hands on a safe surface, but she’s not gripping in panicked desperation. Though it seems she is perched over an abyss, there is a confident command in her posture.

She’s hanging in there.

We may be hovering over own personal abyss. One that was not of our making or choosing. I would have given anything to save my marriage and keep my family together. The tumult of an unknown future may be all that we can see when we look forward. But we can face this with quiet confidence–because we’ve got this. Many of us haven’t been given any other choice.

We’re going to hang in there. We are going to trust that a loving Heavenly Father knows us and is in charge. Always. Forever.

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